life goes on

there are so many things in this world that would ruin, torture and kill us if we let them take a hold of us. even though love and life are painful, staying focused is the only way one can continue on for another day.

'as the world turns'

this place will really make you think about where you want your life to go. i have been to many places in my life that i have enjoyed, many places that have taught me a great deal. nyc , Brooklyn, is one of those places, i have learned where i want to go and what i have not yet seen. but my heart is with my family, and thats where i want to be right now. with my family making photographs and others works.

im at a lose

do i care

the answer is NO i DOnt care about making friends just because the persons live close to work with me, or even go to the same class that i do. the answer is plain i dont care about being friendly, it has been a waste of my time here in NYC. there are only a few whos company that i want t enjoy. i and like to let them know how i feel. as well as desire they companionship.

as for life here i dont care for it and i cant wait to go home, at least there i can relax and not have to be on my guard

dreaming again

last night i had a dream that i was hiking somewhere familiar and foreign all at the same time. but as i was walking i heard rattle snakes everywhere. and dangerous animals left and right. finally a huge rattler bit me. grabbed on to my left hand and would not let go. its face was staring me down. i had to squeeze my hand until venom came out. but my hand remained to lose feeling and was on the verge to becoming useless.

today on the mta

this morning, from my understanding a man wave at the conductor and then threw himself in front of the train. the one that i take to go to work/school. what is that about. i cant take it here but i would have never thought of that one. and second
DONT READ IF YOURE SQUEAMISH....... the lady in front of me on the play for looked professional, but she had a dirty side, first she picked at her toes and then while still waiting for the train pick up bread from her shopping bag and began to rip chunks of bread off a loaf and eat it. all this probably without thinking about the pervious toe dig fest.